7 Things You Actually Don’t Have Time For
“I don’t have time” or “I’m too busy” are two of my least favorite phrases.
I’ve learned to replace those words with some alternative phrases: I don’t have the bandwidth today, it’s not a priority right now, I’ll plan better next time etc. And let me tell you, it’s changed my life. I’ll save the details for my next post, but adjusting your perspective on time is mentally freeing.
But like most things, there are loop holes.
There are certainly things in life we DON’T have time for. At all. None! No matter who you are. Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent, a student, a CEO, a chef or anything in between. Although we all have different roles in our everyday lives, we all can make sure we’re making the most of our time and pursuing what truly matters to us.
In order to do that, we have to ditch a few things.
I assure you that you don’t have time for…
Talking yourself out of a good thing (or letting others talk you out of it).
Your goals, no matter how big or small, are yours and yours only.
You have a right to pursue or try anything in life that makes YOU feel good. It could be anything! Going for morning walks, ditching sugar for 30 days, learning calligraphy, taking an online course, going back to school, working toward a promotion, looking for a more fulfilling job, and so on.
Unfortunately, sometimes making some changes in your own life makes others uncomfortable - even your loved ones. There are a couple of reasons why, but here’s the truth; it usually has nothing to do with you. Sometimes it’s hard for people to watch you change, even if you think it’s for the better. Unless a loved one is expressing valid concerns about your wellbeing, tune out the noise. The right friends will support your decision, not try to talk you out of it. You deserve to go after whatever it is your heart desires and the last thing you want is to resent others for delaying you or putting you off path.
Complaining about the uncontrollable.
No - I am not preaching toxic positivity.
I’m not saying “Don’t be negative! How dare you frown!”
You are a human being with emotions. We have great days and bad day and you’re 100% entitled to your feelings. I’m not suggesting you find the “bright side” of any tragedy either I’m talking about the small stuff. A comment from your boss, traffic, the rude stranger at the grocery store, or even getting passed up for a promotion at work.
Ally Love, an amazing Peloton instructor, once said “There’s a difference between acknowledging your feelings and staying in the drama of it.”
When things don’t go our way it’s easy to get hung up on the bad. Sometimes you can’t focus on anything other than how awful your current situation is! Remember when I talked about snowballing last week? It’s the same idea applies.
If you don’t stop the negative thought process in its tracks, you’ll spiral and before you know it, your whole afternoon is ruined. Complaining is a habit just like anything else; in fact it almost seems more natural to complain than to accept something lame. I mean, who talks about their good days? Yet when something doesn’t go our way, we can’t help but let it take over. However, complaining doesn’t change your situation, nor will it make you feel any less stressed or any better. So vent for ten minutes, scream in your car (I’ve done it), deep breathe, remind yourself what really matters and let it go. And then get back to focusing on what you DO have and what you CAN control.
Letting everything and everyone (except you) control your day.
Spontaneity is beautiful. Who doesn’t love grabbing coffee with a friend who happens to be in town, random late night drives, or going to the bar when you almost stayed home (and ended up having a blast). Some of the best memories are made spontaneously!
But when it comes to the stuff we HAVE to get done in our day to day, planning will make all the difference. Creating a schedule and sticking to a plan makes your to-do list feel less overwhelming. You can even make it a small list! You’re more likely to maintain focus when you’ve allotted a specific time frame to get something done. I mean, how often have you said you were going to fold laundry at some point in the day but ended up watching a few more episodes of New Girl than you should have?
Something that helps me do this is creating a general schedule for my day and then setting timers for each task when I get to it on my list; ten minutes for decluttering, one hour for writing, thirty minutes for cleaning my work e-mail, you get the point. If you’re not in control of your day, at least part of it, you’ll fall to the needs of everyone around you. Even plan some buffer time in case you think something WILL come up (the baby wakes up, you have to pick up a friend from work, you coworker needs help). Planning your day can take all of 20 minutes, but you’ll earn back HOURS of time in the long run.
Arguing on Facebook.
Exaggerated articles, inflammatory comments, possible conspiracies…you name it and it’s on Facebook.
I mean I love Tasty videos, baby pictures, memes and seeing the most delicious pasta (I mean come on look at this). I wish social media was all about the good; but alas, that is a pipe dream.
It’s sad being on the Internet during such a divisive time. It’s easy to get irritated or feel personally attacked by other people’s opinions. However, I guarantee you’d feel much more at ease by choosing to mute, delete, or click away rather than commenting back and forth for who knows how long.
I’m all for constructive conversation and having a respectful exchanging of ideas. But if that’s not possible (and truthfully, I don’t think most people are looking for that online), it’s a waste of time and energy. You won’t really feel any better after arguing. In fact, if they don’t see your point you might walk away even MORE irritated.
Mindless scrolling.
Coming from someone who was literally addicted to Tik Tok. I get it. Seriously I had the app hidden and I’d still manage to go to the folder and watch it - yikes!
You don’t have to be me and quit your favorite app cold turkey. Take some time to unwind, watch something entertaining, see what your family and friends are up to, but be wary of how much time you’re spending doing that. If you have a lingering household chore but you’re 25 Tik Toks deep, go do it. You’ll feel much better when it’s finished rather than looking at the clock at realizing it’s been two hours!
Overall limiting my time on social media has been a game changer. I’m way less anxious, my brain feels less “cluttered” and I’m able to be much more creative. Not a bad trade off it you ask me.
*I do appreciate you spending the time on your phone reading this though. 😊
The wrong relationships.
We’re all adults here - plain and simple. We deserve healthy, supportive and uplifting friendships and relationships that contribute positively to our lives. You don’t need someone who doesn’t value you, respect you or seems to put you at odds with your values. Of course we don’t always agree with our loved ones and yes there are peaks and valleys in relationships, but there is a fine line. It’s tough at first, but don’t be afraid to distance yourself from those who leave you feeling down in the dumps. If you’re interested in steering clear of the wrong romantic relationships this year, check out this post.
Not loving yourself.
I know, I know it sounds cheesy, but please don’t glance over this.
You have one body, one mind and only one life to live.
Celebrate your wins. Be gentle with yourself on the hard days. Wear your favorite outfits, treat yourself to a coffee, sign up for the cardio dance class you’ve been too nervous to try. Appreciate your body and treat it kindly. Embrace your strengths, don’t get hung up on your weaknesses, and remember that you’re here for a reason. If you’re a little less than thrilled with your circumstances, you get to choose the type of person you want to be every single day, even if it’s in small doses of action. There is only ONE of you! And spoiler alert, the world needs you.
Your friends need you, your family needs you, the stranger you smile to on the street or through your car window needs you too. Even if you’re struggling right now and you feel alone I’m reminding you right now. Your rough patches are a part of your story - and someone will need to hear that story some day to realize that it does get easier. You’re proof that it happens. You can’t go after the life you want while hating where you are right now. Love yourself in all your stages. Your lowest moments are reminders that you are capable of rising.
I seriously mean it when I say I’m so happy you’re here. So quit wasting time on the things that don’t matter.
