Conquer the conventional
Becoming your truest self requires fully understanding and learning about YOU.
You have to learn what you like, what you don’t like, what makes you feel good, what doesn’t, even peeling back the layers to figure out why those statements are true. Most importantly, after you do learn, you own it and avoid being ashamed of it.
Honestly, this only comes with time, practice and self-awareness. I was thinking about that this morning. On a smaller scale, but let’s get into it. Story time!
I recently moved into a new apartment (first time out of my parent’s house besides college - woo!). I was and still am so excited. I know in my gut this was the perfect time for this. However, I was nervous.
Certain house noises worry me whenever I’m home alone. Things like the bang of the heater going on or the creaky floors (probably just heat expanding) really startle me. A branch could tap on the window and I will immediately worry. I’ve had to implement my own practices to deal with this and minimize stress. I used to hate this about myself. Here I am a young adult and embarrassed that I’d get stressed home alone! Nonetheless, despite being slightly embarrassed, I’ve come to own and accept it. It’s a fear I have, maybe it’s silly, but it’s a fear I have and if people around me want to judge me for it then so be it. By taking ownership of my anxiety in this situation I feel in much more control to deal with it.
After move in, I noticed I could hear water running and trickling in my bedroom. Of course being the slight worry wort that I am, I called my brother and asked him about it. As I expected it was totally normal. Just the hot water pipes for the building. Something would drive other people crazy, actually relaxed me. I liked that I had buffer between complete silence and city noise. As someone who absolutely loves getting massages and the calming music at the spa, at times it honestly felt like that! For a minute I caught myself thinking it was weird that I actually enjoyed something that could be seen as an inconvenience or an annoyance to others. Then I remembered, why does that even matter. I’m happy, it’s my place, my experience and it’s doing a good thing for me.
Why should I downplay anything that eases my stresses and anxiety? If anything, that’s a great thing! I’ll be able to adjust to moving and go about my day to day that much better thanks to something as small as a little water pipe.
This story might seem silly, but think about it on a larger scale.
Maybe your whole life you’ve been told working for a big corporation was the only way to be successful, make money and be happy. But outside of work you find yourself reading about local businesses, job openings at startups or thinking about freelancing or entrepreneurship. Maybe you thrive on going on a run every day but some people think you’re crazy and too ambitious for doing that. Maybe you’re in a family of creatives but you love crunching numbers or vice versa. Maybe you’re not someone who’s passionate about your professional life as you’re friends and more focused on relationships. Maybe your hobbies and interest, or fears (like me), tend to cause eyebrow raises around you.
I get it. It’s natural to want what everyone else wants or be like those around you – it’s human nature to WANT to belong and feel like you fit in. (I wanted to be the super independent 20 something living on my own with no fears!)
But remember, your feelings, opinions, desires and values are totally valid. This is YOUR life. And as long as you are not harming yourself or those around you in the making, whatever you choose to do or feel is a-okay.
And for the record, there are absolutely people out there who feel the same way you do. You might not know them right now, but I assure you they’re there. Even a simple google search can prove that.
If you find that who you are seems a little different or unlike those around you, don’t let it get you down. Own it. The quicker you do, the more confident you’ll act and the more free you’ll feel.
